January 25, 2013 huh???
I should've known the night would be atypical because the day itself was a little funky. Woke up, got to work at 10, thought the so-called snow we were supposed to get was a no show. Look out the window at noon, we're in the eye of a blizzard. Just my luck. The university closes at 1, get out of work early, get whisked away to some snow day debauchery, yadeeyaa.
That night, some friends come over and somehow a handle of rum and 2 cases of PBR get destroyed. But not before the unthinkable occurred...
10 pm: We hear a loud crash outside the apartment in the breezeway. I open the door and see a bearded fellow with a funky ski hat and tye dye pants standing on the bottom of the stairs about to go up to the third floor. "OH SORRY," this guy says, "Uhh I'm Alex."
"WORD I'm Alex too," I answer, or something like that.
"Oh NO WAY. Anywho we're having a party up in 12, you should come! We're trying to get the whole complex up there!"
"K," I say. I go back inside.
11 pm: We're still hobnobbin around the apartment. There's a knock on the door. Its Alex, and a girl holding a giant snake. "OOOOOO" we all say in unison. "Come up sometime," the two people say. We play with the snake for a few minutes, then they leave.
11:30 pm: We decide to roll upstairs for a few minutes, to, ya know, be neighborly. We open the door to 12. Immediately, we are met with a nauseating stench of barf. Alex approaches. The barf is coming from this child's nasty breath. He gets all up in my face. "Welcome!!! hehe," he says as we take in the spectacle. In the long hallway, at least 8 people are propped up, backs against one wall and feet resting on the other. Other people are crawling through their legs. "We're the caving club," Alex says. I refrain from barfing all over him. I think even his pores ooze of the most disgusting smell you can imagine.
"Come on!," he TAKES MY ARM and pulls me through the party. I glance back at my friends and whisper "HEEELLLPPPP" but no one can hear. Alex starts to crawl through the people posted up in the hallway. I have no choice but to follow suit. Its all sort of funny to this point. At the end of the hall, I get to my feet and am greeted by two men who are at least 55 years old, each holding a bottle of liquor and swaying around holding each other. "What in the world..." I think, and turn to see that Alex has abandoned me. Thank the heavens above.
I make my way back through the people who are acting as "the cave" and see that my 5 friends who for some reason didn't go caving with me are staring over at the beer pong table. At this point Shannon might've thrown up in her mouth. Brett said, verbatim: "Oh so I see you guys have a big snake and a little snake here." I glance over and see exactly what is causing all these emotions: The players on the other end of the table are each standing there with no pants. A girl and a guy. (Thankfully NOT Alex). Absolutely nothing on down there.
"This is one of our tamer parties," Alex said. He popped up out of nowhere. "We've all seen each other naked so many times from caving that we have no shame anymore." Do people really cave naked? Is that a thing? He kind of laughs, we all nervously laugh, then we bolt the FERK out of there. We run down the stairs, run into my apartment, and let out a collective "WHAT THE FERRRKKKK AHAHH SDKJSDJWHID WHAT OMG AAAHHHHHH."
11:36 pm: We head downtown.
The above is a very real and very vivid recollection of the evening of January 25, 2013. Those that were there will never forget the crazy-hippie-Bonnaroo-in-an-apartment 8 minutes of life that will forever live in the silence of our hearts and souls and will always remind us that barf smells really really bad.
That night, some friends come over and somehow a handle of rum and 2 cases of PBR get destroyed. But not before the unthinkable occurred...
10 pm: We hear a loud crash outside the apartment in the breezeway. I open the door and see a bearded fellow with a funky ski hat and tye dye pants standing on the bottom of the stairs about to go up to the third floor. "OH SORRY," this guy says, "Uhh I'm Alex."
"WORD I'm Alex too," I answer, or something like that.
"Oh NO WAY. Anywho we're having a party up in 12, you should come! We're trying to get the whole complex up there!"
"K," I say. I go back inside.
11 pm: We're still hobnobbin around the apartment. There's a knock on the door. Its Alex, and a girl holding a giant snake. "OOOOOO" we all say in unison. "Come up sometime," the two people say. We play with the snake for a few minutes, then they leave.
11:30 pm: We decide to roll upstairs for a few minutes, to, ya know, be neighborly. We open the door to 12. Immediately, we are met with a nauseating stench of barf. Alex approaches. The barf is coming from this child's nasty breath. He gets all up in my face. "Welcome!!! hehe," he says as we take in the spectacle. In the long hallway, at least 8 people are propped up, backs against one wall and feet resting on the other. Other people are crawling through their legs. "We're the caving club," Alex says. I refrain from barfing all over him. I think even his pores ooze of the most disgusting smell you can imagine.
"Come on!," he TAKES MY ARM and pulls me through the party. I glance back at my friends and whisper "HEEELLLPPPP" but no one can hear. Alex starts to crawl through the people posted up in the hallway. I have no choice but to follow suit. Its all sort of funny to this point. At the end of the hall, I get to my feet and am greeted by two men who are at least 55 years old, each holding a bottle of liquor and swaying around holding each other. "What in the world..." I think, and turn to see that Alex has abandoned me. Thank the heavens above.
I make my way back through the people who are acting as "the cave" and see that my 5 friends who for some reason didn't go caving with me are staring over at the beer pong table. At this point Shannon might've thrown up in her mouth. Brett said, verbatim: "Oh so I see you guys have a big snake and a little snake here." I glance over and see exactly what is causing all these emotions: The players on the other end of the table are each standing there with no pants. A girl and a guy. (Thankfully NOT Alex). Absolutely nothing on down there.
"This is one of our tamer parties," Alex said. He popped up out of nowhere. "We've all seen each other naked so many times from caving that we have no shame anymore." Do people really cave naked? Is that a thing? He kind of laughs, we all nervously laugh, then we bolt the FERK out of there. We run down the stairs, run into my apartment, and let out a collective "WHAT THE FERRRKKKK AHAHH SDKJSDJWHID WHAT OMG AAAHHHHHH."
11:36 pm: We head downtown.
The above is a very real and very vivid recollection of the evening of January 25, 2013. Those that were there will never forget the crazy-hippie-Bonnaroo-in-an-apartment 8 minutes of life that will forever live in the silence of our hearts and souls and will always remind us that barf smells really really bad.
Comments
Post a Comment